Love is a precious word. Love is a delicate feeling. And love can make us do crazy things, don't you agree. I love my husband more than I can explain. I love my children and the beautiful ways they respond with their love. I love the Lord with everything I am. I love my dog, my cats, my friends, and people who make me laugh. I love to run, to swim, and to breath fresh air. I love a radiant sunrise and a colorful sunset. I love to love... So it's no surprise how this one little boy tugged at my heart strings so easily. One must sift through older posts to read the crazy events which brought Wilderson and I together. In an effort to comfort him through his brush with death, my heart fell quickly for this 6 year old orphaned child.
If you had asked me a year ago, I would have responded without hesitation, that Wilderson would become part of our family. Eric and I searched through adoption rules and regulations. We spoke to attorneys, friends, and family seeking advice on how to move forward with this adoption. I prayed daily for a clear path to follow, and for money to drop from the sky. Still every door of opportunity remained tightly closed.
The mission for education in Haiti quickly took priority over the adoption process. I soon realized how difficult it would be to travel back and forth from Haiti with another children to care for. At least I would be able to see him during my time in Ouanaminthe. My family was saddened by this decision. The kids had created a "Wilderson" fund filled with spare change in hopes of covering the adoption costs. Their nightly prayers were consumed with bringing Wilderson home and now they were unsure what to pray for. Still, life eventually returned to normal, but my heart still aches for my sweet boy.
This last trip in September was the most difficult I think. Wilderson never left my side, except for when I was running ministry errands. As soon as I would return, he would find me. He would crawl on my lap and go about playing with his little wrestling action figure Andrew had sent along for him. He would often call me "Ma Ma" and several times he would simply fall asleep in my arms as I rocked him back and forth. When it was time to leave, I remember having a panic attack thinking I had lost my camera. I was literally hysterical thinking how many photos of me and Wilderson would be lost forever. A fellow missionary brought Wilderson to me and said "This little guy needs you right now." Apparently Wilderson has separated himself from the group gathering to bid farewell. He was found running a stick up and down the orphanage wall, repeating "Martha, Martha" as large alligator tears streamed down his precious face. I will never forget that moment, scooping him up into my arms and crying together as we understood it was time to say goodbye once again. I know this process will happen again and again until our work with Willio's school is complete and it truly breaks my heart.
Part of me thinks Wilderson will never come to live with our family. Yet I will have the joy and honor of watching him grow into a strong and faithful boy who will know the needs of Haiti and continue to fight for them. Although he no longer has his birth mother or father in his life, I pray he will come to know how much I care for him as I pour love into his precious life each time we're together.
Still, I have to admit, there is one tiny part of me hoping one day I will tuck him to sleep in his first ever bed in the safety of our home..... A true lesson in "Patience....."
Friday, October 30, 2009
A Lesson In Patience
Love is a precious word. Love is a delicate feeling. And love can make us do crazy things, don't you agree. I love my husband more than I can explain. I love my children and the beautiful ways they respond with their love. I love the Lord with everything I am. I love my dog, my cats, my friends, and people who make me laugh. I love to run, to swim, and to breath fresh air. I love a radiant sunrise and a colorful sunset. I love to love... So it's no surprise how this one little boy tugged at my heart strings so easily. One must sift through older posts to read the crazy events which brought Wilderson and I together. In an effort to comfort him through his brush with death, my heart fell quickly for this 6 year old orphaned child.
If you had asked me a year ago, I would have responded without hesitation, that Wilderson would become part of our family. Eric and I searched through adoption rules and regulations. We spoke to attorneys, friends, and family seeking advice on how to move forward with this adoption. I prayed daily for a clear path to follow, and for money to drop from the sky. Still every door of opportunity remained tightly closed.
The mission for education in Haiti quickly took priority over the adoption process. I soon realized how difficult it would be to travel back and forth from Haiti with another children to care for. At least I would be able to see him during my time in Ouanaminthe. My family was saddened by this decision. The kids had created a "Wilderson" fund filled with spare change in hopes of covering the adoption costs. Their nightly prayers were consumed with bringing Wilderson home and now they were unsure what to pray for. Still, life eventually returned to normal, but my heart still aches for my sweet boy.
This last trip in September was the most difficult I think. Wilderson never left my side, except for when I was running ministry errands. As soon as I would return, he would find me. He would crawl on my lap and go about playing with his little wrestling action figure Andrew had sent along for him. He would often call me "Ma Ma" and several times he would simply fall asleep in my arms as I rocked him back and forth. When it was time to leave, I remember having a panic attack thinking I had lost my camera. I was literally hysterical thinking how many photos of me and Wilderson would be lost forever. A fellow missionary brought Wilderson to me and said "This little guy needs you right now." Apparently Wilderson has separated himself from the group gathering to bid farewell. He was found running a stick up and down the orphanage wall, repeating "Martha, Martha" as large alligator tears streamed down his precious face. I will never forget that moment, scooping him up into my arms and crying together as we understood it was time to say goodbye once again. I know this process will happen again and again until our work with Willio's school is complete and it truly breaks my heart.
Part of me thinks Wilderson will never come to live with our family. Yet I will have the joy and honor of watching him grow into a strong and faithful boy who will know the needs of Haiti and continue to fight for them. Although he no longer has his birth mother or father in his life, I pray he will come to know how much I care for him as I pour love into his precious life each time we're together.
Still, I have to admit, there is one tiny part of me hoping one day I will tuck him to sleep in his first ever bed in the safety of our home..... A true lesson in "Patience....."
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1 comment:
OK, I'm crying... What a beautiful entry though; can't wait to get back to Haiti and see our little men.
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